Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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