Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Sorry about my life...
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
