Tell her she can't have a vagina
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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