Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
