When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize