my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
should my penis look like a turkey
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
