I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
