Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
