You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
