I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
