the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
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Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
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She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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