Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize