I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
i've created a new STD.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
