how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
then he tried to convert me to islam
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
