i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
