He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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