The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
