so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
