Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you win again, gameday.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
