You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
