Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Barsexuality is the new black.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize