I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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