I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
