TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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