I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
