i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
