): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
