I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
