i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
it's great music for shaving your balls
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
