k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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