I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
