Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
