Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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