I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
