So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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