i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
