Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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