Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
In America we eat man semen.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
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