Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
