it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
