Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
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I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
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Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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