Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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