I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
