i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
