tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
