i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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