Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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