Im at strip club and am horny
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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