Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
accomplished twins. life is a go
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize