If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
