I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
