I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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