i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I need a burrito and a hug.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
