I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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