it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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