I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
