I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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