i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
