hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
