We're facebook friends in real life
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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