shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
