wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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