whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
