so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
