are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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